


Dancing Close to Disaster and Happiness

by completelyhopeless



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Community: comment_fic, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-01
Updated: 2014-12-01
Packaged: 2018-02-27 19:27:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2703740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/completelyhopeless/pseuds/completelyhopeless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They've come close to this before, but every time it ends the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dancing Close to Disaster and Happiness

**Author's Note:**

  * For [storiesfortravellers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/gifts).



> For the prompt: _[Avengers or Agents of SHIELD, any/any, the pain of breaking up and making up again and again](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/527678.html?thread=75867198#t75867198)_
> 
> I went May/Coulson with this, but I could see it being Clint/Natasha, too. It isn't quite breaking up and making up, but I think coming close and having to back off is close enough to be okay. I hope, anyway.

* * *

They've come close before in this dance of theirs, skirting the edge of happiness and love.

They're friends in the academy. They pass notes in shared classes, borrow each other's books, and plenty of people assume they're dating. They never bother to deny it, but the thought doesn't really cross their minds. They graduate and become agents, and the notes stop when they no longer need to share books.

One time it's a mission. Their cover demands they play a couple, and it's playing with fire because it showed them that they could do this, that they wanted to. Attraction was always easy to ignore in the past. When they come back, though, it is business as usual.

The next time it's after separate missions. She almost died, and the idea of losing her almost pushes them over the edge into more, but then it was his turn to be assigned on a mission, and time and distance dull what must have been adrenaline.

They spend some time as trainers at the academy, and this atmosphere, while not necessarily romantic, is almost domestic enough to make them forget who and what they are. Their coffee breaks come close to dating, and rumors fly around the campus. Reassignment was inevitable for them both.

The closest they come is right before Bahrain. They're not working in the same division this time, doing separate work, and for some reason, instead of pushing them apart, it makes them realize that it might just be time. They won't be reassigned because they're not working together. They add dinners and movies to coffee breaks.

Then she goes in to deal with an 0-8-4 and comes back out different. She has a new nickname and a new legend, a lifetime's worth of guilt and pain and nightmares, and whatever they had was lost within the fire that birthed the Cavalry.

May goes into requisitions. She hides in paperwork and stays far from the field. He tries to reach her, but she doesn't want him to.

Years pass this way, and he tries to move on while she sticks to meaningless relationships that don't involve her heart. 

Then comes the Battle of New York.

He died.

A part of her dies again with him, but Fury brings him back, and though she makes a show of resisting his offer to join his team, she knows she will. She can't turn him down when Fury wants her to watch him, but more than that, she needs to be there in case something goes wrong and because she cares.

They're on the Bus together. They're both aware of where this might lead. The path is the same one they've been down before, and sooner or later it will happen. It's inevitable.

All they can do is minimize the damage when it does.

**Author's Note:**

> This one wouldn't let itself end with hope. I wanted it to, but it fought me and I lost.


End file.
